Why Are You Not Achieving Your Goals Successfully?

Is your goal setting making you unhappy?
Have you ever created a goal and got frustrated because of it?
Are you trapping yourself with your goal setting strategies?

Now is the time to learn better strategies that will take you straight to success while having fun during the process of getting there because when you apply this advice you will get there!

A goal is something you want to have or something you want to change in your life. It is basically a project you can manage in a smart way so that in the end you'll find yourself where you wanted to be when you stated your goal, and began to take steps towards making it happen. But first it starts out in your mind and adopting better thinking strategies followed by powerful action actually will ensure your success, which is what you want… do you not?

Many if not most of the people make New Year's resolutions and set up goals to quit shortly after that because they feel unhappy and frustrated. The reason is, they constantly compare their actual unsatisfying situation with the ideal goal they want to reach and the only thing they can see is the wide gap between the two places. You feel unhappy and you end up spending lots of energy to keep you constantly motivated when you don't feel like doing anything because it is impossible to be motivated all the time. And before long you quit!

In other words, if you delay any kind of gratification or feelings of satisfaction until the ideal goal is completely achieved, you are actually making sure you will not accomplish your goal. Some goals can't be achieved over night so the more you delay the good feelings you think you'll have when you achieve your final goal, the more difficult it will become to achieve. It is that simple!

There is another aspect of unsuccessful goal setting, watch out! If you decide you are a success only and only if you shed off these 30 pounds or when you are a millionaire, perhaps when you buy that Mercedes and have it standing in your drive way, then you are trapped in a place where there is not escape, as you will be denying yourself any good feelings to keep going… unless you do it the way I am about to share with you.

If you wanted to cross over a river, you would use a bridge to walk on until you reach the other side and if you wanted to grab something that sits on a high shelf you would use a ladder, so why would accomplishing a goal be any different?

Now, what can you do differently and in the present moment to ensure your goals will be successfully accomplished and with fun?

Pick a goal: what do you want?
It can be anything but let's take the example of a weight loss goal.

Solution 1: make a power decision. What is the first thing you will notice when heading towards your goal? What is the first success?
You want to shed off 20 pounds so if you notice that you shed 2 pounds on your way, congratulate yourself and keep going. Do more of the things you notice bring about success.

Build a bridge between where you were when you started and your final goal. You simply make smaller steps and these little goals will be easy to achieve. The result will surprise you because it will lead you straight to your wished big goal. Keep going and keep rewarding yourself and feeling good about what you've already achieved while feeling certain that sooner or later you will be at your final destination!

Solution 2: keep a journal of your progress and successive successes on the way to your goal. People tend to forget what they have already achieved and where they were when they started their journey towards a goal, so by keeping it all written down you can go back any time and see how far you've come already and that will keep you on track and highly motivated. It makes the whole project fun and worth going for.

These two important strategies will show you that you are a success and that you don't have to wait for any final result to feel good about it or about yourself. In fact whatever feelings you think or believe you will have when your goal has manifested in the real world, start on your way by having them right now and build your bridge to success from then on.

What you've learned so far to achieve a goal with success is this: it is very helpful to have a concrete and easy way to track your progress. Find a way to make your goal as concrete as possible and break it down to smaller steps you can accomplish with success.

And to make your goal achievement even easier and more of a success follow these steps:
Choose a goal
Check whether the goal is good for you and will enrich your life
Find the resources that will help you achieve your goal: information, people to help you, advice…
Prioritize your goal so you keep hitting your target until you hit it finally
Track your goal, the progress and success journal will help you with that
The freedom to change or even discard your goal if you don't want it anymore or if it no longer suits you

What now? If you have goals that you've already started working on, make them easy to track and start your progress and success journal. Walk the bridge step by successful step, all the way to your final success!

Karima Begag





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The Madness of Playing Game

If a lone, unkempt, person, standing on a soapbox were to say that he should become the Prime Minister, he would have been diagnosed by a passing psychiatrist as suffering from this or that mental disturbance. But were the same psychiatrist to frequent the same spot and see a crowd of millions saluting the same lonely, shabby figure - what would have his diagnosis been? Surely, different (perhaps of a more political hue).

It seems that one thing setting social games apart from madness is quantitative: the amount of the participants involved. Madness is a one-person game, and even mass mental disturbances are limited in scope. Moreover, it has long been demonstrated (for instance, by Karen Horney) that the definition of certain mental disorders is highly dependent upon the context of the prevailing culture. Mental disturbances (including psychoses) are time-dependent and locus-dependent. Religious behaviour and romantic behaviour could be easily construed as psychopathologies when examined out of their social, cultural, historical and political contexts.

Historical figures as diverse as Nietzsche (philosophy), Van Gogh (art), Hitler (politics) and Herzl (political visionary) made this smooth phase transition from the lunatic fringes to centre stage. They succeeded to attract, convince and influence a critical human mass, which provided for this transition. They appeared on history's stage (or were placed there posthumously) at the right time and in the right place. The biblical prophets and Jesus are similar examples though of a more severe disorder. Hitler and Herzl possibly suffered from personality disorders - the biblical prophets were, almost certainly, psychotic.

We play games because they are reversible and their outcomes are reversible. No game-player expects his involvement, or his particular moves to make a lasting impression on history, fellow humans, a territory, or a business entity. This, indeed, is the major taxonomic difference: the same class of actions can be classified as "game" when it does not intend to exert a lasting (that is, irreversible) influence on the environment. When such intention is evident - the very same actions qualify as something completely different. Games, therefore, are only mildly associated with memory. They are intended to be forgotten, eroded by time and entropy, by quantum events in our brains and macro-events in physical reality.

Games - as opposed to absolutely all other human activities - are entropic. Negentropy - the act of reducing entropy and increasing order - is present in a game, only to be reversed later. Nowhere is this more evident than in video games: destructive acts constitute the very foundation of these contraptions. When children start to play (and adults, for that matter - see Eric Berne's books on the subject) they commence by dissolution, by being destructively analytic. Playing games is an analytic activity. It is through games that we recognize our temporariness, the looming shadow of death, our forthcoming dissolution, evaporation, annihilation.

These FACTS we repress in normal life - lest they overwhelm us. A frontal recognition of them would render us speechless, motionless, paralysed. We pretend that we are going to live forever, we use this ridiculous, counter-factual assumption as a working hypothesis. Playing games lets us confront all this by engaging in activities which, by their very definition, are temporary, have no past and no future, temporally detached and physically detached. This is as close to death as we get.

Small wonder that rituals (a variant of games) typify religious activities. Religion is among the few human disciplines which tackle death head on, sometimes as a centrepiece (consider the symbolic sacrifice of Jesus). Rituals are also the hallmark of obsessive-compulsive disorders, which are the reaction to the repression of forbidden emotions (our reaction to the prevalence, pervasiveness and inevitability of death is almost identical). It is when we move from a conscious acknowledgement of the relative lack of lasting importance of games - to the pretension that they are important, that we make the transition from the personal to the social.

The way from madness to social rituals traverses games. In this sense, the transition is from game to myth. A mythology is a closed system of thought, which defines the "permissible" questions, those that can be asked. Other questions are forbidden because they cannot be answered without resorting to another mythology altogether.

Observation is an act, which is the anathema of the myth. The observer is presumed to be outside the observed system (a presumption which, in itself, is part of the myth of Science, at least until the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics was developed).

A game looks very strange, unnecessary and ridiculous from the vantage-point of an outside observer. It has no justification, no future, it looks aimless (from the utilitarian point of view), it can be compared to alternative systems of thought and of social organization (the biggest threat to any mythology). When games are transformed to myths, the first act perpetrated by the group of transformers is to ban all observations by the (willing or unwilling) participants.<

Introspection replaces observation and becomes a mechanism of social coercion. The game, in its new guise, becomes a transcendental, postulated, axiomatic and doctrinaire entity. It spins off a caste of interpreters and mediators. It distinguishes participants (formerly, players) from outsiders or aliens (formerly observers or uninterested parties). And the game loses its power to confront us with death. As a myth it assumes the function of repression of this fact and of the fact that we are all prisoners. Earth is really a death ward, a cosmic death row: we are all trapped here and all of us are sentenced to die.

Today's telecommunications, transportation, international computer networks and the unification of the cultural offering only serve to exacerbate and accentuate this claustrophobia. Granted, in a few millennia, with space travel and space habitation, the walls of our cells will have practically vanished (or become negligible) with the exception of the constraint of our (limited) longevity. Mortality is a blessing in disguise because it motivates humans to act in order "not to miss the train of life" and it maintains the sense of wonder and the (false) sense of unlimited possibilities.

This conversion from madness to game to myth is subjected to meta-laws that are the guidelines of a super-game. All our games are derivatives of this super-game of survival. It is a game because its outcomes are not guaranteed, they are temporary and to a large extent not even known (many of our activities are directed at deciphering it). It is a myth because it effectively ignores temporal and spatial limitations. It is one-track minded: to foster an increase in the population as a hedge against contingencies, which are outside the myth.

All the laws, which encourage optimization of resources, accommodation, an increase of order and negentropic results - belong, by definition to this meta-system. We can rigorously claim that there exist no laws, no human activities outside it. It is inconceivable that it should contain its own negation (Godel-like), therefore it must be internally and externally consistent. It is as inconceivable that it will be less than perfect - so it must be all-inclusive. Its comprehensiveness is not the formal logical one: it is not the system of all the conceivable sub-systems, theorems and propositions (because it is not self-contradictory or self-defeating). It is simply the list of possibilities and actualities open to humans, taking their limitations into consideration. This, precisely, is the power of money. It is - and always has been - a symbol whose abstract dimension far outweighed its tangible one.

This bestowed upon money a preferred status: that of a measuring rod. The outcomes of games and myths alike needed to be monitored and measured. Competition was only a mechanism to secure the on-going participation of individuals in the game. Measurement was an altogether more important element: the very efficiency of the survival strategy was in question. How could humanity measure the relative performance (and contribution) of its members - and their overall efficiency (and prospects)? Money came handy. It is uniform, objective, reacts flexibly and immediately to changing circumstances, abstract, easily transformable into tangibles - in short, a perfect barometer of the chances of survival at any given gauging moment. It is through its role as a universal comparative scale - that it came to acquire the might that it possesses.

Money, in other words, had the ultimate information content: the information concerning survival, the information needed for survival. Money measures performance (which allows for survival enhancing feedback). Money confers identity - an effective way to differentiate oneself in a world glutted with information, alienating and assimilating. Money cemented a social system of monovalent rating (a pecking order) - which, in turn, optimized decision making processes through the minimization of the amounts of information needed to affect them. The price of a share traded in the stock exchange, for instance, is assumed (by certain theoreticians) to incorporate (and reflect) all the information available regarding this share. Analogously, we can say that the amount of money that a person has contains sufficient information regarding his or her ability to survive and his or her contribution to the survivability of others. There must be other - possibly more important measures of that - but they are, most probably, lacking: not as uniform as money, not as universal, not as potent, etc.

Money is said to buy us love (or to stand for it, psychologically) - and love is the prerequisite to survival. Very few of us would have survived without some kind of love or attention lavished on us. We are dependent creatures throughout our lives. Thus, in an unavoidable path, as humans move from game to myth and from myth to a derivative social organization - they move ever closer to money and to the information that it contains. Money contains information in different modalities. But it all boils down to the very ancient question of the survival of the fittest.




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Tips For Setting Your Reception Schedule

Wedding receptions normally last between three to five hours. A careful planner should make a timetable. It is going to help everyone involved with your wedding including your guests, your caterer, the band, and the photographer. Keeping with the planned schedule can enhance your and your guests' overall experience.

Regardless of the style or the duration of your reception, planning can benefit everyone. It is imperative that you plan ahead and establish a sequence of events for your reception. Spending time and effort before the wedding can save you from a lot of confusion and unnecessary distractions on your wedding day.

You can expect better results from any plan that is put in writing. Be sure to give a copy to your wedding vendors, your wedding attendants and family members so they know where they need to be and when.

Be as detailed as possible when preparing your reception itinerary. Include names, the order of events, specific locations and song titles of special dances.

As you prepare your schedule, don't be too concerned about exact times. The times on your schedule should act only as a guide and to keep things moving in the right direction and make sure that everything gets done! The order of events is more important than the time of events. The order of events is up to you, but once established you should stick with it.

Because wedding guests should not begin dancing until after the bride and groom have had their first dance, some brides prefer to do their first dance with their husband very early into the reception, before dinner is served. Other brides prefer to do it after dinner, when the "real dancing begins".

If you put in the effort to have every minute planned out, you should complete the process by preparing a printed wedding and reception schedule for your guests. Include the approximate arrival time of the bride and groom, first dance, cake cutting, special toasts to the bride and groom, picture taking, tossing of the bride's bouquet and garter, etc. Getting everything organized ahead of time helps you and your guests to have a lovely wedding reception.

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Depression Control

This article is aimed at helping people who are often in a state of depression. I have had many of periods in my life where I have found it difficult to carry on and where in truth I have wished that my life would just end.

Depression affects people in many different ways. From a personal note it affects my sleep patterns and makes the smallest things irritate me. I have even been sick in the morning after spending the night worrying about my present situation.

Most of the time I am not so much depressed at what is happening now but am fearing what might happen in the future. This fear may be about financial matters, a social occasion, health or about my family.

I had basically had enough of constantly being depressed, about being in fear of the future and needed to learn about how to control my depression.

After seeking inspiration from a variety of sources, I had what I hoped was enough ammunition to keep my fears and phobias at bay. I will at times have an off day where I feel quite low and this is where I use my new found knowledge.

How to control your depression

I am a very quiet person and I like to keep myself to myself. Some would say that I border on being a loner, which I would quite agree with. Too many people have hurt me throughout my life and to tell you the truth I prefer being on my own. I am not a peoples person.

I also like to keep my problems to myself. This was my biggest failure, what I needed to do was to talk through my problems and fears with somebody else, a member of my family for example.

This was not easy for me to do and it took a great deal of courage to talk to anybody about the areas of my life which made me feel depressed. I did however go down this route and it did have a positive effect. To talk about my problems was like taking a weight off my shoulders

The person I confided in was my father. He listened and then came back with some superb advice and a couple of suggestions of what I could do.

This is my second piece of advice. We need to spend less time worrying and more time seeking solutions to our problems. We need to ask ourselves why we are depressed and what can help us to remedy our issues.

My father also stated that I should only do things and go to places that I wanted to. I have always found it hard to turn down invitations to for example a party and have found myself often somewhere that I do not in reality want to be.

He also told me about one of his friends. His name was Mike and he had just been diagnosed with cancer. The doctors had told Mike that he only has a maximum of six months to live and he is only fifty-nine. He asked me to imagine how he must be feeling.

I went home and thought about Mike, I was sure that he would love to swap shoes with me. It is not just about Mike, he has a wife and three children, what must they be going through. I started to appreciate my own health and that of my family a bit more.

By opening up and talking about why I was depressed was the best thing I ever did and is something I will continue to do. My dad certainly helped me to think in a more positive way.

This advice I am sure will not help every person who is depressed as depression is an illness. It has however helped me and I am hoping it will be of benefit to others.


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To Think for Oneself

Let us examine the three purposes of writing: to inform, entertain, and enlighten. To me, the second one is bottom of the list, though it is instrumental in the achievement of the two others. Every great teacher knows this intimately and readily laces his teachings with relevant and interesting stories, and humor.

The first purpose, to inform, comes second in my mind, whereas the last, to enlighten, comes first. To explain my attitude, I think it appropriate to draw your attention to my book A REASON FOR LIVING, where both of these purposes are pursued.

Part of my book relays factual or theoretical information about things like human physiology, nutrition, and universal evolution. This information relates to the current perception of reality in scientific circles. I am just a vehicle for it. Now, for two reasons, my role as a writer who informs his readers about scientific facts and theories comes second in my mind to my role as a philosopher who strives to enlighten his readers.

My main reason is that I regard wisdom as paramount, whereas the knowledge of the material world (i.e., the constituents, structure, and workings thereof) is not equally important, however useful it is on a practical level. Conscience comes before science, which in itself is incapable of providing humans with a sense of what is good, right, or sacred – in a word, with moral principles. An example of science without conscience is the destruction of nature and the violation of human rights by rogue companies who are efficient in their use, or rather abuse, of their environment and their workers to satisfy their greed.

My other reason is that my role as a writer who informs his readers about scientific facts and theories is indeed that of a mere vehicle. It is very much secondary to the role of researcher, which drives the scientific enterprise thanks to advanced instrumentation plus skillful, scholarly, and clever observations and rationalizations.

By contrast, my role as a philosopher who strives to enlighten his readers is in the driver's seat, so to speak. Not only is it concerned with everything that makes life worth living and gives humans a sense of purpose, but also it does more than mirror the light of wisdom; it generates it by force of thinking on the basis of experience and study.

Truth to tell, my readers can likewise think for themselves. They themselves can be philosophers and create their own wisdom while discovering and evaluating mine. Therefore, the light shining through in my book is there to help my readers see a range of weighty matters on which they can meditate to form their own thoughtful opinions about them. And since they can do so, I venture to argue that they should. 




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An Introduction To Bidding And Buying On Ebay

Have you noticed that whenever you open a newspaper, watch the TV or have a conversation, people seem to be talking about eBay? If you've never used it and you've no idea what it's all about, then the chances are that you're starting to feel a little left out. But don't worry! This email contains everything you need to know about the basics of bidding and buying on eBay.

So What is eBay?

eBay is an online auction website – and not just any auction site, but the biggest one in the world. If you know how an auction works, then you already know how roughly eBay works. Someone adds something they want to sell to the site, and then buyers come along and place bids on it. The highest bid wins the item! It's that simple.

eBay being an online auction makes a big difference, though. Buying and selling are not reserved for any elite. eBay accept almost any item, no matter how small, and will then advertise it on their sites all over the world. It's a powerful combination of an auction and a slightly chaotic marketplace.

What is Bidding?

Bidding is when you say how much you will pay for an item in an auction. Bidding on eBay, however, doesn't work in exactly the same way as a normal auction, at least in theory. On eBay, you tell the site what the maximum you are willing to pay for each item is, and then eBay places the bids on your behalf. That means you could say you were willing to pay up to $100 for something and only have to pay $50, if that was the highest maximum bid anyone else placed.

It's not as complicated as it sounds – the best way to get used to it is to give it a try. First, the best thing to do is to go to the eBay website designed for your country. If you don't know the address for it, just go to http://www.ebay.com and it will tell you there. Now, on the front page you should see a big box marked 'search': just type in anything that you'd like to buy there.

Wasn't that easy? Now you should have a list of items for sale in front of you, along with how much people are currently bidding for them and the time when bidding ends for each item. If you click one of these, you can read the description, and then – if you're happy with the item and happy to pay more than the current highest bidder is – you can bid!

How Do I Bid?

Go ahead and scroll down to the bottom of an item's description page, and type the maximum you are willing to pay (your maximum bid) into the box. Then simply press the 'place bid' button – you will need to sign in once you press the button, or go through a quick registration process if you don't have an eBay username).

If someone else's maximum bid on that item is higher than yours, then eBay will tell you and give you the opportunity to bid again. Otherwise, you're now the new highest bidder! All you need to do now is wait until the end of the auction – if someone else outbids you, then eBay will email you and you can bid again.

All sounds great, doesn't it? But by now you might be wondering whether a site as chaotic as eBay can really be all that safe to buy from. That's why the next email in this series will be about your rights when you buy from eBay. 

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You are Magic

"Magic (ma-jic): an extraordinary power or influence seemingly from a supernatural source". The attempt to define magic is difficult at best. It is used more as a word to define, than one that can be defined. The same can be said for who you are. We attempt to define ourselves, yet no adequate words exist to describe the complexity of who we are. We can describe what we look like, the type of work we do, our ethnic heritage or gender. Yet, that comes nowhere near the truth of what animates your being. You are a mystery. You are magic.

Historians, philosophers, scientist and theologians have been searching for the origins and meaning of existence since the beginning of time. Various religions have been born out of an attempt to define the indefinable. We often engage in the endless pursuit to define who, what and why we are. We measure ourselves against others and their accomplishments. We are deluged each day with media images of what is acceptable or unacceptable. There is an ongoing quest to explain the unexplainable. You are who you are and that is ever changing. You are deliciously indescribable. Each moment you are remade. Every morning when you open your eyes, you begin a new journey. The choices and decisions that you make color and change "who" you are. You are an indefinable, magical being. Have you forgotten this? Have you allowed the world to take away your magic? Each time you have a thought or task and give it life- you are creating! From preparing a meal for your family or painting a picture. Everything you do adds a different dimension to who "you" are. Life is a mystery and by accepting this fact you become one with it and more able to maneuver though it.

Think back and remember the last time you were really "in tune" with something you wanted to accomplish. Remember how easy and enjoyable it was to put together all the pieces of the puzzle to create the final outcome? You were not anxious or the least bit concerned about what other people were thinking or doing. You were one with the energy of your creation. That same dynamic is possible in all aspects of your life. By becoming one with the magical energy of who you are, you create. You can also create your own limitations by putting up walls of fear and inadequacy. Embrace your power; consider what you create each and everyday. If you can put together the ingredients to make an apple pie, you can use the same recipe to create anything else you desire. Create a recipe that works for you. Be in harmony with the energy of what you want to bring into your life. If you have made several attempts with no apparent success- try another way. Add or remove something from the recipe. Be in tune with the Universal force of magic.

Where is your energy at this moment? Are you focusing on life affirming activities or caught up with what someone else is doing or not doing? Is your energy directed on how to get someone else to change or do what you want him or her to do? What is the topic of most of your conversations? Think about the last conversation you had- were you sharing hopes, dreams and ideas or were you complaining about how things are not going the way you want them to? A large percentage of our words, thoughts and energy are given to what is going on around us. By understanding that you are a powerful, magical being- you regain the power that is wasted on things you cannot control. You cannot control another person's emotions or actions. If someone is in your life and they are causing you distress- it is because of your choice to remain part of their life. If you are not happy with the situation you are in, it is your choice. You are not your past. You are not what someone did to you or what was taken from you. The events and people in your life have served to shape "who" you are at this moment. The events of today, will further hone who you are tomorrow- and so on…

To become a truly empowered being, you have to reach down into the magical place inside of you and utilize your own power. It is not important as to what your spiritual or theological beliefs are. What is important is that you understand the fact that you are a creator. What do you want to create? Peace, harmony and joy or chaos and drama? Are you always feeling angry and frustrated? Being angry or frustrated is only beneficial if it serves to steer you another direction. Conflict can be an incredible catalyst for change if you use the energy to move. Choose to take a different path or look at things from a different perspective. It does not matter how you do it, the important thing is that you get into a place that you want to be.

You are who you are and that is "magical". Do not allow anything to diminish and cage your personal power. Allowing your inner self to grow and blossom is a process. Magic happens when you leap into mystery and become that which you desire to be. Like attracts like- to manifest magic, you must be magic. Just as you cannot adequately define the mystery of life, do not attempt to define "you". Embrace the undiscovered parts of who you are. Set out on a course to reveal the mystery that dwells within you. If you must define yourself, you are magic.

Paula Picard is a Professional Psychic and Spiritual teacher who utilizes her intuition and 20 years of experience to assist you in co-creating the life you want. Paula believes that within you is the power to manifest your desires. To learn more about Paula Picard and her Powerful work www.paulapicard.com or you can contact her at pmpicard@charter.net

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UMTS

UMTS (Universal Mobile Telephone Service) is a third generation (3G) cellular technology, which provides data speeds up to 2 Mbps making portable videophones a reality. UMTS was developed and standardized by ETSI (European Telecommunications Standard Institute) within the ITU's IMT-200 framework. The technology is optimized to allow state of the art, very high-speed multimedia services such videoconferencing, full motion video, and Internet access.
UMTS features the support of several leading telecommunications operators and manufacturers. Universal Mobile Telephone Service has attempted to create an opportunity to build a market for highly customized and user-friendly mobile access to the information society. The intention of UMTS is to create and extend the capability of today's mobile, cordless and other satellite technologies by providing more data capability, capacity, and an increased and greater range of services. This is achieved by using an innovative radio access scheme and an enhanced and ever evolving core network.
UMTS offers a wide range of tele-services and bearer services. Tele-services include services such as speech or SMS. Bearer services provide the capability for transferring information from one point to another. Universal Mobile Telephone Service also has the ability to negotiate and renegotiate the characteristics of a bearer service at a connection establishment or session and during connection or ongoing session. Both connectionless services and connection oriented services are provided for Point to Multipoint and Point to Point communication.

UMTS's bearer services features various QoS parameters for maximum transfer delay, bit error rate, and delay variations. Also offered byUMTS are data rate targets that include 144 kbits satellite and rural outdoors, 384 kbits urban outdoor and 2048 kbits indoor and low range outdoor. UMTS network services feature various QoS classes for four types of traffic such as: Streaming class which included video on demand, multimedia, and web casts, Conversational class which included voice, video gaming, and video telephony, Background class which included SMS, downloading, and email, and finally Interactive class which included network gaming, database access, and web browsing.
Universal Mobile Telephone service also boasts a VHE or Virtual Home Environment. VHE is a concept that has been developed for personal service environment portability across network boundaries and between various terminals. Personal service environment ensures that wherever the user is located or whatever network or terminal the user may be using, they are getting the same User Interface customization, personalized features, and services. UMTS ensures location based services and improved network security, making it attractive for users as well as highly efficient for them to use. 

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On the Incest Taboo

"...An experience with an adult may seem merely a curious and pointless game, or it may be a hideous trauma leaving lifelong psychic scars. In many cases the reaction of parents and society determines the child's interpretation of the event. What would have been a trivial and soon-forgotten act becomes traumatic if the mother cries, the father rages, and the police interrogate the child."

(Encyclopedia Britannica, 2004 Edition)

In contemporary thought, incest is invariably associated with child abuse and its horrific, long-lasting, and often irreversible consequences. Incest is not such a clear-cut matter as it has been made out to be over millennia of taboo. Many participants claim to have enjoyed the act and its physical and emotional consequences. It is often the result of seduction. In some cases, two consenting and fully informed adults are involved.

Many types of relationships, which are defined as incestuous, are between genetically unrelated parties (a stepfather and a daughter), or between fictive kin or between classificatory kin (that belong to the same matriline or patriline). In certain societies (the Native American or the Chinese) it is sufficient to carry the same family name (=to belong to the same clan) and marriage is forbidden.

Some incest prohibitions relate to sexual acts - others to marriage. In some societies, incest is mandatory or prohibited, according to the social class (Bali, Papua New Guinea, Polynesian and Melanesian islands). In others, the Royal House started a tradition of incestuous marriages, which was later imitated by lower classes (Ancient Egypt, Hawaii, Pre-Columbian Mixtec). Some societies are more tolerant of consensual incest than others (Japan, India until the 1930's, Australia).

The list is long and it serves to demonstrate the diversity of attitudes towards this most universal of taboos. Generally put, we can say that a prohibition to have sex with or marry a related person should be classified as an incest prohibition.

Perhaps the strongest feature of incest has been hitherto downplayed: that it is, essentially, an autoerotic act.

Having sex with a first-degree blood relative is like having sex with oneself. It is a Narcissistic act and like all acts Narcissistic, it involves the objectification of the partner. The incestuous Narcissist over-values and then devalues his sexual partner. He is devoid of empathy (cannot see the other's point of view or put himself in her shoes).

For an in depth treatment of Narcissism and its psychosexual dimension, see: "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" and "Frequently Asked Questions".

Paradoxically, it is the reaction of society that transforms incest into such a disruptive phenomenon. The condemnation, the horror, the revulsion and the attendant social sanctions interfere with the internal processes and dynamics of the incestuous family. It is from society that the child learns that something is horribly wrong, that he should feel guilty, and that the offending parent is a defective role model.

As a direct result, the formation of the child's Superego is stunted and it remains infantile, ideal, sadistic, perfectionist, demanding and punishing. The child's Ego, on the other hand, is likely to be replaced by a False Ego version, whose job it is to suffer the social consequences of the hideous act.

To sum up: society's reactions in the case of incest are pathogenic and are most likely to produce a Narcissistic or a Borderline patient. Dysempathic, exploitative, emotionally labile, immature, and in eternal search for Narcissistic Supply – the child becomes a replica of his incestuous and socially-castigated parent.

If so, why did human societies develop such pathogenic responses? In other words, why is incest considered a taboo in all known human collectives and cultures? Why are incestuous liaisons treated so harshly and punitively?

Freud said that incest provokes horror because it touches upon our forbidden, ambivalent emotions towards members of our close family. This ambivalence covers both aggression towards other members (forbidden and punishable) and (sexual) attraction to them (doubly forbidden and punishable).

Edward Westermarck proffered an opposite view that the domestic proximity of the members of the family breeds sexual repulsion (the epigenetic rule known as the Westermarck effect) to counter naturally occurring genetic sexual attraction. The incest taboo simply reflects emotional and biological realities within the family rather than aiming to restrain the inbred instincts of its members, claimed Westermarck.

Though much-disputed by geneticists, some scholars maintain that the incest taboo may have been originally designed to prevent the degeneration of the genetic stock of the clan or tribe through intra-family breeding (closed endogamy). But, even if true, this no longer applies. In today's world incest rarely results in pregnancy and the transmission of genetic material. Sex today is about recreation as much as procreation.

Good contraceptives should, therefore, encourage incestuous, couples. In many other species inbreeding or straightforward incest are the norm. Finally, in most countries, incest prohibitions apply also to non-genetically-related people.

It seems, therefore, that the incest taboo was and is aimed at one thing in particular: to preserve the family unit and its proper functioning.

Incest is more than a mere manifestation of a given personality disorder or a paraphilia (incest is considered by many to be a subtype of pedophilia). It harks back to the very nature of the family. It is closely entangled with its functions and with its contribution to the development of the individual within it.

The family is an efficient venue for the transmission of accumulated property as well as information - both horizontally (among family members) and vertically (down the generations). The process of socialization largely relies on these familial mechanisms, making the family the most important agent of socialization by far.

The family is a mechanism for the allocation of genetic and material wealth. Worldly goods are passed on from one generation to the next through succession, inheritance and residence. Genetic material is handed down through the sexual act. It is the mandate of the family to increase both by accumulating property and by marrying outside the family (exogamy).

Clearly, incest prevents both. It preserves a limited genetic pool and makes an increase of material possessions through intermarriage all but impossible.

The family's roles are not merely materialistic, though.

One of the main businesses of the family is to teach to its members self control, self regulation and healthy adaptation. Family members share space and resources and siblings share the mother's emotions and attention. Similarly, the family educates its young members to master their drives and to postpone the self-gratification which attaches to acting upon them.

The incest taboo conditions children to control their erotic drive by abstaining from ingratiating themselves with members of the opposite sex within the same family. There could be little question that incest constitutes a lack of control and impedes the proper separation of impulse (or stimulus) from action.

Additionally, incest probably interferes with the defensive aspects of the family's existence. It is through the family that aggression is legitimately channeled, expressed and externalized. By imposing discipline and hierarchy on its members, the family is transformed into a cohesive and efficient war machine. It absorbs economic resources, social status and members of other families. It forms alliances and fights other clans over scarce goods, tangible and intangible.

This efficacy is undermined by incest. It is virtually impossible to maintain discipline and hierarchy in an incestuous family where some members assume sexual roles not normally theirs. Sex is an expression of power – emotional and physical. The members of the family involved in incest surrender power and assume it out of the regular flow patterns that have made the family the formidable apparatus that it is.

These new power politics weaken the family, both internally and externally. Internally, emotive reactions (such as the jealousy of other family members) and clashing authorities and responsibilities are likely to undo the delicate unit. Externally, the family is vulnerable to ostracism and more official forms of intervention and dismantling.

Finally, the family is an identity endowment mechanism. It bestows identity upon its members. Internally, the members of the family derive meaning from their position in the family tree and its "organization chart" (which conform to societal expectations and norms). Externally, through exogamy, by incorporating "strangers", the family absorbs other identities and thus enhances social solidarity (Claude Levy-Strauss) at the expense of the solidarity of the nuclear, original family.

Exogamy, as often noted, allows for the creation of extended alliances. The "identity creep" of the family is in total opposition to incest. The latter increases the solidarity and cohesiveness of the incestuous family – but at the expense of its ability to digest and absorb other identities of other family units. Incest, in other words, adversely affects social cohesion and solidarity.

Lastly, as aforementioned, incest interferes with well-established and rigid patterns of inheritance and property allocation. Such disruption is likely to have led in primitive societies to disputes and conflicts - including armed clashes and deaths. To prevent such recurrent and costly bloodshed was one of the intentions of the incest taboo.

The more primitive the society, the more strict and elaborate the set of incest prohibitions and the fiercer the reactions of society to violations. It appears that the less violent the dispute settlement methods and mechanisms in a given culture – the more lenient the attitude to incest.

The incest taboo is, therefore, a cultural trait. Protective of the efficient mechanism of the family, society sought to minimize disruption to its activities and to the clear flows of authority, responsibilities, material wealth and information horizontally and vertically.

Incest threatened to unravel this magnificent creation - the family. Alarmed by the possible consequences (internal and external feuds, a rise in the level of aggression and violence) – society introduced the taboo. It came replete with physical and emotional sanctions: stigmatization, revulsion and horror, imprisonment, the demolition of the errant and socially mutant family cell.

As long as societies revolve around the relegation of power, its sharing, its acquisition and dispensation – there will always exist an incest taboo. But in a different societal and cultural setting, it is conceivable not to have such a taboo. We can easily imagine a society where incest is extolled, taught, and practiced - and out-breeding is regarded with horror and revulsion.

The incestuous marriages among members of the royal households of Europe were intended to preserve the familial property and expand the clan's territory. They were normative, not aberrant. Marrying an outsider was considered abhorrent.

An incestuous society - where incest is the norm - is conceivable even today.

Two out of many possible scenarios:

1. "The Lot Scenario"

A plague or some other natural disaster decimate the population of planet Earth. People remain alive only in isolated clusters, co-habiting only with their closest kin. Surely incestuous procreation is preferable to virtuous extermination. Incest becomes normative.

Incest is as entrenched a taboo as cannibalism. Yet, it is better to eat the flesh of your dead football team mates than perish high up on the Andes (a harrowing tale of survival recounted in the book and eponymous film, "Alive").

2. The Egyptian Scenario

Resources become so scarce that family units scramble to keep them exclusively within the clan.

Exogamy - marrying outside the clan - amounts to a unilateral transfer of scarce resources to outsiders and strangers. Incest becomes an economic imperative.

An incestuous society would be either utopian or dystopian, depending on the reader's point of view - but that it is possible is doubtless.




Sumber : readbud.com

What Is The Prerequisite For Creating A Life Of Success?!

How many times have you blamed circumstances and make excuses for not being successful?

You can create tons of excuses for not being successful but nothing will change.

Blaming makes you feel like a victim with no power or control over your life or destiny.

Blaming and making excuses will destroy your energy and vitality and leave you with a feeling of frustration and desperation.

Your life will not change until you take 100% responsibility of your life.

You must give up all excuses and stop any blames.

Stop blaming your parents, education, friends, spouse, coworkers, boss, weather, country, government, ...etc

If you continue blaming and making excuses then congratulations... You will fail!!!!

"99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses" - George Washington Carver.

Engrave the above quote in your mind. You only fail when you surrender and loose persistence. And you will surrender by starting to blame and make excuses.

But if you take 100% responsibility of your life you will try again and again until you achieve what you want. Because only you can get the right results and you will waste your time by blaming circumstances.

If you are not convinced, then before I prove it to you lets agree on this:

"At least act as if you are 100% responsible"

If you don't believe that you are 100% responsible of your life and that everything happens to you results from your decisions and actions, then at least act AS IF you are.

This will decrease your level of blaming, increase your chances of success and provide you with confidence in yourself and abilities.

If you want a proof that you are 100% responsible then lets discuss the following formula which I learned from Jack Canfield's book called "The Success Principles"

Lets go back to your math classes…

E+R=O

Event + Response = Outcome

Your outcome only depends on your response to a certain event.

You have no control over events or circumstances. You only have control over yourself and your responses.

You lost your control long time ago due to myths like "no body can change circumstances", "external factors determine your destiny" and all similar staff you have learned in the past.

Now forget about your past and focus on the following two choices:

1. You can blame your circumstances and make excuses but you will not reach anything you want. 2. You can change your responses to a certain event until you get what you want. And this will make all the difference.

Gain control of your thinking, decisions, actions, responses, etc. and you are on your greatness path.

Take 100% responsibility of your life. You have control over your thoughts and actions. So, don't let go of your ultimate power.

And strive for success.

My friend you can make a difference.

I believe in you. 

Sumber : readbud.com

Blogging for Business - Some Helpful Tips

A lot of businesses are now conducted online. With an internet business, your service or products can reach different parts of the world especially if your website can attract much traffic. In order to establish one of the best online businesses, the usage of blogging for business is of utmost importance.

You can make use of blogs in order to promote your business today and in the years to come. This is not an easy task and so you will need all the help and some tips to keep you on the right track.

Here are some useful tips that you can incorporate in your internet business:

• Back links are valuable – to promote your business through the use of blogs, you have to give importance to back links. The blog post contents should be able to incorporate appropriate back links. By doing so, you can attract much traffic to your website in a more effective manner.

• You must learn to use the right keywords – all the contents of your blogs should have the right or appropriate keywords. Effective blogging can also place your internet business among the top searches in the results of search engines.

• If you plan to use blogs for your internet business, you must be able to make posts regularly. If you forget to make posts, your blogs will not be very effective for your internet business. Sporadic bloggers have no place on the net and so if you want your efforts to be rewarded, make sure that you post blogs frequently.

• Your blogging efforts will be rewarded if you post frequently and if the contents are interesting. Through effective blogging, you can establish the reputation of your online business and not only that, you can shout to the world your business expertise. If you want to gain a positive reputation, make sure that you post interesting blogs that are related to your business.

Those are some simple tips that you can use for blogging. Indeed, blogging can be very useful for online business but only if you can post effective blogs.

At present, many owners of online businesses are now making use of blogs to promote their products and services. If you want to become a blogger and at the same time a successful owner of a business, try to learn how to make effective blogs.

Some say that blogs are not that hard to compose. To some individuals, it may be their way to share their personal experiences and everyday life. But according to some expert bloggers, you also need to consider the interests of the readers and online researchers. Remember that once you start posting blogs in your business' website, you have to post frequently (at least once or twice a week) so that your customers and readers will not forget you or your business.

So what are you waiting for? Learn to make blogs now and become an effective blogger. Your business will surely benefit from the blogs that you post. If you want to learn more about effective blogging for business, you can easily conduct researches online because you can find a wealth of information there.

Blogging for business is one of the most effective means of making your business a success. Start making blogs now and you can earn more profits in the future.




sumber : readbud.com

10 Ways to Reduce Commuting Stress

Do you get out of your car with a queasy stomach, a headache and your blood pressure registering through the roof? If you do, that energy vulture called stress may have sent your pulse skyrocketing. In a study conducted at the University of California at Irvine, researchers found that the stress of commuting takes a major toll on health. According to the study, it has direct physiological effects of raising blood pressure and releasing stress hormones into the body. Not only that, long commutes (more than 18 miles one way) may also increase the likelihood of having a heart attack due to exposure to high levels of air pollutants, which appears to be a risk factor for heart disease.

Although there is no antidote to stressful commuting, there are lots of ways to shoo off the energy vulture. Here's how to thrive while you drive.

1. Prepare in advance

One of the best ways to lessen the strain of road rage is to prepare everything the night before. Clothes, documents, attache cases, and even packed lunches should be set the day before to avoid the morning rush. With everything champing at the bit, you'd save plenty of time to do your morning routines, devour a good breakfast and enjoy special moments with the family. Best of all, you can dash out the highway free of traffic congestion.

2. Sleep well and wake up early

A good night's sleep rejuvenates the body. Make it a habit to have enough sleep and to rise early. If you are already stressed out the day before, an incomplete repose takes over cumulative stress effects into your life at work and at home. Your frustration levels at work eventually rises, your brainpower falters, and your mood at home sours. You have no energy left for enjoying life.

3. Juggle your work hours

Why pack the freeways with all the other "9-to-5"ers when you can try a ten-to-six or an eight-to-four shift? Depending on your company's work policy, try to check out other shifts that fit your lifestyle. Choose one that would help you get rid of energy-depleting stress and allow you to lighten your highway woes.

4. Share your ride

It may be a hassle to coordinate your arrival and departure with another person or two, but carpooling is worth it. Studies show that ridesharing lowers commuter stress significantly. With carpooling, there is less air and noise pollution, less traffic congestion, and you can relax more while someone else does the driving.

5. "Cocoon" in your car

Instead of getting worked up when traffic is at a standstill, utilize your time wisely. Listen to the radio or pop in some music tapes to take your mind off the stop-and-go driving and traffic tie-ups. If you like to read but just can't have time to flip pages of a book, check out books on cassette. Many libraries have full-length books on tape as well as abridged versions. You can even learn a new language or do some car exercises like shoulder rolls, neck extensions and tummy tucks to help you stay awake and relax.

6. Pillow your back and squirm

When you're standing, the lumbar area of your spine (the lower portion) normally curves inward, toward your abdomen. However, when you're sitting, it tends to slump outward squeezing your spinal disks and putting stress on them. According to back expert Malcolm Pope, Ph.D.,director of the Iowa Spine Research Center at the University of Iowa, it helps to support your back by tucking a rolled towel or a pillow in that lumbar section. In cases of longer drives, since sitting in one position for longer than 15 minutes gradually stiffens you even with a back pillow, make necessary adjustments for a comfy ride. For instance, you can try putting most of your weight on one buttock and then the other. Then, shift the position of your seat or your buttocks slightly. You may even try sliding down in your seat and sit up again for fun.

7. Work out after work

Since the evening rush is worse than the morning rush because of the compounded fatigue from the workday, it is best to wait out the traffic. Work out at a gym near your office or take meditation classes to relieve your stress. If you plan to go to dinner, see a movie or go shopping, try to do these things near work, delaying your departure enough to miss the maddening rush.

8. Give yourself a break

It may be a good idea to give yourself some day off from work. Many companies today offer compressed working hours or longer working days to give way to work-free days for you to unwind.

9. Move your office

If your job is a long drive ahead everyday, inquire at work if the company would allow you to work at home some days of the week or if you can work near your place. An alternative work schedule would make you feel less tense and in control thereby reducing stress.

10. Occasionaly change your routine

An occasional change of commuting habits may be advisable too. Try walking or bicycling sometimes for a change. There's nothing like a good walk to ease tension especially when it means you don't have to get in your car and fight rush hour traffic.

By lessening the stress of getting to work, you are conserving enormous amounts of energy that may be lost over stressful commuting. It doesn't only leave you a lot more energy to do your job and become more productive but it also makes you feel good and gives you a good reason to always start your day right. 


Sumber : readbud.com

Ways to earn good profit out of mutual fund. It is more of commonsense than an art or science.

Mutual funds are the vehicle that help normal individuals to invest together in equity and debt market without taking too much of risk. The mutual funds are created with predetermined investment objectives, to suit different kind of investors. More over mutual funds are made in such a way that they achieve a variety of risk/reward objectives. However, the right way to benefit from mutual funds is to balance the risk as well as the potential to earn. That's the reason, identifying the right level of risk tolerance, choosing the right schemes and allocation to the right asset class remains the most important factors in ensuring success from a mutual fund portfolio.

First point is the right funds in your Portfolio
When we select funds we need to make sure that we need to have right mix of right funds. For that we need to keep in mind your profile and the kind of fund that matches your profile. If you are a conservative investor, the composition of your portfolio would be different from someone who may have different risk profile and time horizon such as aggressive.
Moreover If you have created a portfolio of different equity funds, and wish to invest more in equity over a period of time. Make sure that you keep an eye over the exposure to all the sectors in which the funds have invested in. we need to look over the fund houses and fund managers styles, strategies, and philosophies. There is a difference between different fund manager's style and strategies to a good level. The fund houses are very particular to their fund management philosophies and management style. The fund management style is further reflected in the performance of the funds they have.
As far as fund management style is considered we need to look at the performance of their funds over a period of time. To perform consistently over a period of time is not an easy task. Only few funds have been able to perform at a consistent rate. These fund houses and fund managers do follow certain styles which further become the core of the fund philosophies

As a Tax payer – Make use of its hidden potential
Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) are the best instrument that provides an investment option that provides you an affective and safe way to investing in equity market and save taxes. If we take this particular fund as a product it is quiet sure to give good returns over a period of time. Over a period of time equities have the potential to provide better returns compared to other instruments. These ELSS funds being equity oriented provide returns which can be really appreciable. ELSS have the potential to provide better returns than most of the options under Section 80C.

One of the important features is the tax efficiency in terms of returns earned through them. It is important considering that ELSS also aims to distribute income by way of dividend periodically depending on the distributable surplus. Moreover an SIP in any ELSS scheme will help you to save more by investing more, as you save more of taxes. More over the long-term capital gains can be very attractive and is again tax free.


Re-balance your portfolio if required
Ensure that the exposure of your equity portfolio to different market segments i.e. large cap, mid cap and small cap is in the right proportion. If not, you need to realign it according to your risk profile, time period and investment objective. You might need to scuffle the portfolio a bit in order to get it in right shape. An existing investor, need to make sure that the portfolio does not include too much of funds without any proper planning and allocation. The first step in towards rebalancing your portfolio is checking out which funds are not performing up to the mark. For this, the right way would be to compare the performance of your schemes with the benchmark and other funds in the same group. In the case of some non-performing schemes we need to remove them out through the redemption process in phases. We need to take notice towards the exposure to different sectors in the portfolio . While rebalancing the portfolio, the focus should be on those schemes in the portfolio that have been performing consistently and have a good quality portfolio. 


sumber : readbud.com

How To Get More People To Trust What You Say

One of the biggest challenges you need to overcome in order to create more sales in your business is getting people to trust what you say. Now you may very well have a great deal of integrity and be very trustworthy when it comes to your business (and I'm sure you are). But do your customers know that? And how can you make sure that they do?

'Lack of trust' is a big problem in advertising. You probably don't realise how many customers DON'T believe what you say or claim in your advertising. In fact, the best rule of thumb to go by, is that NO ONE BELIEVES YOU. We often see on TV current affairs shows, people who get ripped off by businesses. And it might only be 1 in 1000 businesses in that particular industry, but of course it's that one that will always get the headlines.

Then the general public see this and make a broad judgement on that industry to protect themselves, and then they become wary of every business. So it's not enough to just tell people that you have this fantastic, well-respected
reputation... and so therefore you're the company to choose. It just doesn't work that way anymore, you need to go much further these days. Here are two powerful tips that will have more people trusting what you say.

1. People believe more of what other people say about you...
than what YOU say about you.

If you were to tell me that you are the best basketball player in your state, that you score more than everyone else and hand out more assists, I would have a fair bit of scepticism as I haven't heard anything about you. But if 10 people came up to me and say stuff like, "Have you seen this guy? He scored 40 points last week! He was simply amazing. Plus he handed out 12 assists, he was on fire!" then you can see that makes it more readily believable right away. So go to your customers and ask them for their opinion of you. Get them to write down the wonderful experience they had dealing with you, then you can use it to show others why they should do business with you! 

There is however, good and bad ways of writing a testimonial, so I'm going to tell you the best system to use. It goes something like this - 'once I was lost, now I'm found'. For example, if you're promoting a weight loss program, tell people how your customer 'once weighed 180kg, and just by eating this amazing fruit bar, I lost 80kg in 2 months!' That's just an exaggeration of course, but just to illustrate the point. Plus, you should always include the full name and suburb, and if possible a phone number. The more information you provide the more realistic it is, and therefore more believable for your customer!

2. Simply guarantee what you do.

You are required by law to guarantee your product or service. If something doesn't work, or breaks, or goes wrong, 99.9! A guarantee takes the risk off the customer and puts it on you, and if your customer knows you're prepared to take the risk then they'll feel more comfortable doing business with you.

The reason most business owners will keep their guarantee hidden is that they are worried about their customers taking advantage of them. Let's say you're getting a very low return rate now like 1, and by offering a guarantee it goes up to 6%. So your returns go up by 3 times, but by doing so you also triple your SALES, doesn't it then make financial sense to offer that guarantee up front?





Sumber : readbud.com